stevebuelow.com
Great marketing, in the absence of character, will eventually tick off even your best customers!

A few years ago, I received a call from a young gal who was about to graduate high school. It seems she had been accepted to Vanderbilt University and was about to set out on a path to study Veterinary Medicine.

Just one problem… she had no desire to become a Veterinarian.

Huh?

That’s right… yet virtually her entire family was planning a huge Bon Voyage party to launch her into the rest of her life as Doctor Daughter.

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Interestingly enough, the night before she called I had received a message from her mother, who had asked if I’d be willing to speak with her daughter. In fact it was the mom who first informed me that the girl was having second thoughts about her path.

“This is really a problem… everyone’s planning on this.”

Everyone, apparently, except the one who would need to live it.

So how did “everyone” get the idea that this young person was to become a Veterinarian, you ask? Was it a family tradition or legacy? Was her mother or father also a Veterinarian? Was she to follow in the footsteps of a favorite family member or mentor?

Well, no.

She was to become a Veterinarian because twelve years earlier, while petting a kitten, she said she wanted to be a Vet.

Hmm…

I asked the mother if it were possible that the family had built this dream around a false assumption. That at six years old, many children see being a Veterinarian as a sort of fun way to spend LOTS of time petting kittens and puppies… but not necessarily desiring to make a career out of spaying, neutering, or otherwise operating on them.

More importantly, while the family was looking in a different direction, this girl had developed a ton of really outstanding dreams of her own… and a desire to make them real.

I suggested she follow them… and she has.

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So what happens when goals change? And what are the greatest obstacles to making them a reality?

We’ll look at a few of them next time.

Questions:

When is the last time one of your major goals or life purposes changed? What precipitated the change, and what did you do about it? What do you believe are the most difficult challenges to overcome when considering options that affect your career or life path?

I look forward to speaking with you soon.

Photo Credit:

Bruce Berrien

Awhile back I read a short narrative by Dr. Robert Schuller in which he described all of the activities he had given up along the way to achieving his ultimate purposes in life.

Like many of us who started young with very big goals (and very little money), early on he had a hand in virtually everything that needed to be done at his organization.

Promoter… yup.
Preacher… check.
Janitor… of course.

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The same held true for me. To be sure, there was no one else… I had to do it all, right?

Then again, I think sometimes it may have just been a control issue… an inability to delegate and follow up… or, maybe I just liked the idea of having everyone know how incredibly busy I was in my new company.

Whatever… it worked out in the end, though there is little doubt that I could have been much more effective in my work!

So, back to my story of Dr. Schuller.

Over the years, he gave up one activity after another… he retired from golf to focus on improving his leadership. He quit orchestrating various social events at his church to focus instead on important pieces of his ministry. And he eventually turned over all those critical ministry elements to other individuals who could do them about as well or better.

The story ended with his statement that he had recently hired a driver and had retired from fighting traffic in Southern California. As he rode in the back seat, the added time allowed him to organize his plans, formulate his thoughts, prepare talks on important subjects, and write books on leadership and living.

His point was that many of the activities we spend our time on could be done by someone else. On the other hand, there are very specific and critically important components of our goals that only we can complete, and it is those functions that should receive our undivided attention.

Hmm… I think my driver is waiting.

Questions:

If money were no object, what activities in your personal or professional life could you outsource to a third party?

If money were no object, could you buy back five hours this week? Ten hours? Twenty-five hours?

Where are you going to get the money?

I look forward to speaking with you soon.

Photo Credit:

Boston Public Library

Several weeks ago, a friend of mine received a promotion to what she described as “a position” that required her to “lead a team of paraprofessionals.”

While excited about the opportunities in front of her, there was, nevertheless, a bit of hesitancy in her voice the other day as she described the expectations and challenges that she was experiencing as a “first-time leader.”

“First-time leader?” I asked. Clearly, she must have been speaking of someone else!

First-time manager, maybe… but this girl’s been leading, she’s been influencing, and she’s been creating an environment in which others can thrive in her department, in her church, in her family, and in her causes… and she’s been doing all of those things for a very long time.

So, Julie… and any other Julies or Davids or Marys…

Don’t let the title fool you; you have way too much potential for that! And now I’ll keep this article short and leave you with another story from a few months ago on a similar topic… enjoy!

I look forward to speaking with you soon!

Photo Credit:

Susan M. Carter

Okay, so here we are less than two weeks into the new year, and already millions of people have given up all hope to achieve the goals and resolutions that they set for 2010.

Maybe you know a few of them.

Now, let’s be really real, shall we… because I’ve been in that position more times than I care to admit.

So what are the top resolutions? What are the common denominators, and what makes them so difficult to achieve?

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Here are some of the more popular undertakings that your friends, neighbors, relatives, and coworkers targeted for achievement this year:

Lose Weight
Stop Smoking
Quit Drinking
Eliminate Some Other Bad Habit
Get Out Of Debt

Interestingly enough, many identified the same desires a year ago, and… the year before that. In fact, these are among the top resolutions every year.

So, therein lies the commonality… there’s a ton of us all wanting to make the same positive changes, and yet, we all seem to be struggling.

Why is that, and what can be done about it? Well… here is my take, and a suggestion to fix it once and for all.

First, understand that each time we try to succeed, and fail… there can be an overwhelming tendency to begin to accept the status quo as the realistic definition of our potential. In short, people lose faith in themselves. They quit trying.

Oh, and just in case you’re wondering… that would not be considered to be a success principle.

Second, when we make these type of resolutions, they are all very focused on ourselves. I want to lose weight… I want to quit this or that… I… I… I… whatever.

And that is likely a big part of the problem.

Self-absorbed goals tend not to be big enough to overcome the storms along the way… because our true happiness and joy in life doesn’t come from having a smaller waistline, one less bad habit, or a few more dollars at the end of the month.

To the contrary, our quality of life comes from the strength of our relationships with other people. And the easiest way to open those doors is to find a way to help and add value to another person’s life.

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So, knowing that millions of others are making and struggling with the same resolutions… if you want to trim a few pounds, dump the bad habits, or whatever… try this.

Find another individual who is looking to do the same thing, and make it your resolution to help them keep theirs. That’s right. Need to lose weight? Partner with someone and become their rock. Want to trash the cigarettes? Same deal. Need funds? You can start a small business online for next to nothing and split the profits!

Easy stuff.

And if I know anything about this (which I do), I am betting that putting your eyes on the success of another will give your efforts the significance required to keep your goals on track as well.

This year, why not resolve to make someone else’s resolutions come true? And then tell us all about it! I look forward to hearing from you.

Photo Credit:

brtsergio

Sometimes it just comes over me. And when it does, I know what I need. Music… any music! Yes, forty minutes ago, was one of those times.

And with that, I turned on a revolving CD Player in our living room that’s stacked with, oh…I don’t know… a whole stack of CD’s!

It’s kind of like gambling, ’cause you really have no idea what might come up first… however, I usually roll with whatever it is!

So tonight, for my listening pleasure, I got… Christmas music.

Ah, the memories. It seems like just yesterday, we were singing hard rock versions of the Twelve Days of Christmas, and suddenly it’s the twelfth day of January!

Time flies.

But here’s how my mind works… here’s what I’m thinking about right now. I’m pondering a conversation I had with someone this morning who was noticeably frustrated about already having blown off their number one and number two New Years Resolutions.

Here we are, not quite two weeks into the year, and according to them… it’s gone. No use in trying… over.

Hmm.

I suggested they were in good company, or at least in popular company, seeing that half of those who made resolutions this year are in the same boat.

And then I asked a few questions…

What resolutions were made?
Answer: Quit smoking… lose weight.
What resolutions were made last year?
Answer: Quit smoking… lose weight.

Methinks there’s a pattern developing here… several of them, really. And we’re going to look at those more closely… tomorrow.

Until then, I hope you are having a terrific new year!!

Photo Credit:

John A Ward

Okay… quick recap from yesterday.

No, I’m not referring to the weather report I gave, or the coffee menu for that matter…

I’m speaking about the survey conducted by Harvard Business Review that asked 600 execs to rate the number one motivating factor in the work-life of their employees.

Here again is my recollection of the choices that they were given:

* Financial Incentives and Benefits
* Social Interaction and Interpersonal Support
* Recognition for Their Achievements
* Progress in Reaching Objectives
* Formulation and Communication of Clear Goals

Now, I suppose if we went back thirty or forty years, that same set of questions would have invariably elicited a majority response about pay and benefits… though to be truthful, thirty or forty years ago we probably didn’t have “Interpersonal Support” or “Communication” issues on the list… did we?

In any event, back to today.

And the winner, according to 600 top corporate managers is… Recognition.

Just one problem… it seems they all forgot to ask the employees.

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Yes, this study which included hundreds of workers who kept detailed journals and in which they emailed their entries to researchers every day for several years, wanted…

Progress.

That’s it… simple progress toward their goals.

It seems, believe it or not, that our people don’t like roadblocks… don’t relish wasting their time… and don’t enjoy spinning their wheels any more than we do.

Imagine that.

Oh, BTW… the article goes on to say that the variable that managers rated dead-last was… yup, you nailed it. The very thing that the vast majority of employees said was the most important characteristic when it comes to happiness and motivation in their careers.

But then again, Abraham Maslow could have told them that decades ago.

I look forward to speaking with you.

Questions:

Are there any areas within your company in which sufficient progress is not being made toward the stated goals and the expectations of your team?

What are three concrete steps that you can take this month to significantly move the dial?

What resources do you need? Are you prepared to pull that together? Will you?

Photo Credit:

E-Strategy Blog

Time: 9:48pm CST
Date: Last Evening

Mood: Positively Excited
Location: 44.262512,-88.478597

Temperature: Start at freezing…
then subtract 37 Degrees, Fahrenheit.

Yeah… I know, it’s nuts.

Though I suppose after awhile you do kinda get used to it… you know, like the story of the frog that is boiling… only in this case, the frog is freezing its buns off!

But alas, I digress.

Anyway, as I traveled I thought about savoring a voluminous Cafe Americano over the latest issue of Harvard Business Review, and how that would likely benefit me in more ways than one… so I stopped to enjoy the atmosphere of a favorite bookstore thirty minutes from home.

As I placed my order and picked up the publication… my mind still dwelt on a phone conversation I had finished just minutes earlier. You know, stuff like proper goal setting, effective motivation, and our role as leaders in moving the dial forward for our organizations and… more importantly, for our people.

Taking a chair by the fireplace, I opened at random to an article about… this was so cool… motivating employees!!

Imagine that.

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Thirty years ago, I remember thinking that financial compensation was the prime motivator in business, and no one could have told me any different at the time.

Of course, this likely had much to do with Abraham Maslow, the “Hierarchy of Human Needs”, and the fact that I saw donating plasma as a legitimate part-time job!

Sorry… another digression.

But, at some point… as we fulfill our basic physiological requirements and eliminate our concerns for safety and security… other needs, higher needs… become more important.

Easy stuff.

So… back to the HBR article. They asked six hundred or so executives to identify what is most important to their people… what are their employee’s needs… what one variable is most important in motivating the entire team to win.

Here, in no particular order is my paraphrase of the choices they were given from which to choose… they are, of course, our choices as well.

* Financial Incentives and Benefits
* Social Interaction and Interpersonal Support
* Recognition for Their Achievements
* Progress in Reaching Objectives
* Formulation and Communication of Clear Goals

Go ahead and choose one… and we’ll pick up the discussion again tomorrow. I look forward to hearing from you.

Photo Credit:

Vintage Daydream

Many years ago, a mentor told me that anytime we compare ourselves to others… we lose.

The way the principle was described to me, and the way I have described it to countless others, is like this…

If I compare myself with you… all I know about you is what you have shown me.

In other words, more than likely… all I know is your BEST characteristics. On the other hand, I know all of my own WORST traits, ’cause, well… I’ve lived them!

So, I take all of your BEST qualities, and I compare them against all of my own WORST… and, voila… I have, in effect, widened the gap to the furthest possible extent!

Not wise.

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This is on my mind tonight because I’ve had several discussions over the past week or two with some folks on the the subject of authenticity.

Now, I know that word is getting a lot of play in terms of transparency in marketing… but we were looking at a different context.

You see, this conversation revolved around the concept as it relates to being real… and being real approachable to those whom we might influence in the realm of coaching or mentoring.

It all started when a young man called me for advice on a business matter. He had made some promises… had lost a significant five figure sum… and now stood to lose even more, if… he kept his word.

He wanted to know what to do.

Well, it’s really pretty simple, I said… you just need to figure out if your word is any good, or not.

Silence… followed by six or seven additional seconds of absolutely no talking whatsoever!

Then…

“Yeah,” he said, “I knew that’s what you were going to say… but man, you don’t know how it feels to lose that kind of money.”

Oh, my…

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I asked if he had a few extra minutes… and then described a period of great financial loss… in fact, many times the size we had just discussed seconds earlier. The stress… the depression… and the sleepless nights.

He was stunned… and he was thankful. Through sharing my story, he received the gift of hope.

Would I walk this road with him, he asked. And the answer, of course, was yes… after all, it may be part of the reason I had to learn the lesson in the first place.

Authenticity.

It means allowing others in… letting them see us when we’re not at our best. It is showing our humanness… and yes, sometimes our brokenness. Authenticity is the source of the strength that comes from shared experience, from overcoming in similar situations.

It is knowing… because, well… you just know.

One of my favorite old scriptures refers to the fact that we all kinda suffer from the same stuff (my translation).

The question is whether we will allow others to see those hurts… those challenges… the illness or pain or failure. Do we find it necessary to present a perfect face… or will we let others see us fall? And if they see us fall, will they also witness as we get back up again and again and again?

Oh yeah, and one more.

Are we then willing to take our experiences… both positive and negative… and walk along side someone else? To provide encouragement and hope that is based on having been through that fire a time or two before?

The answers to these questions… will determine the degree to which we have any influence at all.

Application:

What is the greatest personal or professional challenge that you have overcome in the past 60 months? Are you willing to walk through that minefield again… this time to help another individual or family safely to the other side? How and where will you find them?

They’re waiting…

I look forward to speaking with you soon.

Photo Credit:

The Only Anla

My friend, Warren, lives on a small piece of limestone and coral about six hundred miles southeast of Puerto Rico and just beyond the eastern border of the Caribbean Sea.

Recently, I suggested that maybe we could meet halfway and hang out in Miami for the weekend… but then I remembered that he doesn’t like the cold that much!

Yes, depending on where you live, Miami could be toasty warm or just a wee bit chilly… it all depends on your point of view.

For example, the current weather outside my window right now is listed as “Fair”… yes, fair… temperature is 7 degrees, with a wind chill of -1.

And just in case you’re not familiar with the concept of wind chill, here’s the rule of thumb… when headed outside, cover anything that you don’t want to fall off.

Yes, different points of view… indeed!

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My dad has a saying for these situations, which sounds something like, “Well, my boy… it all depends on how you look at it.”

Oh, the number of times I heard those words while growing up… and how many times I’ve probably said them since!

It kinda goes hand in hand with other remnants of ancient wisdom like, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure,” or, “With this much manure… there’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”

But alas… I digress.

Obviously, the gist is that our attitude positively or negatively colors our perception of our circumstances. At the same time, it’s our job to make sure that our circumstances don’t unreasonably affect our attitudes!

It’s a circular reference and, of course, that’s the real challenge.

Yes, it is all in how we look at it.

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I remember reading once that virtually every life-altering invention is simply a remedy to an otherwise difficult, troubling, or annoying process or circumstance.

To be sure, great advances in technology, business, and medicine are often preceded by a set of events that simply cry out for innovation.

But here’s the thing.

While everyone can see it… and everybody feels it… there are always just a handful who view the situation as an opportunity to act… to make a difference… to leave a legacy.

And as they proclaim, “There’s got to be a better way,” one thing is certain… there’s a relatively good chance that they’re going to find it.

And the difference? Just the point of view… and a willingness to act. I look forward to speaking with you soon.

Photo Credit:

Robert Paul Young

I don’t know about you, but Christmas is definitely one of my favorite times of the year.

Well, actually Fall is my favorite time of the year… Christmas is just my favorite holiday… so I suppose what would make a perfect situation would be to move Christmas to October.

Then again, I like the week between Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve, so I guess we would kinda have to move New Year’s Day back a few months also.

Hmm… so here’s what I’m thinking. This is going to mess up a lot of vacation plans and fiscal years and such, so… at least for the time being… let’s just plan to leave it like it is.

But I do have another idea you can implement almost at once.

With just seven days until the new year, most everyone who plans to make resolutions probably already has a good idea of what they’re going to be… and we’ll speak some more about that in a few days.

But here is a thought.

Most resolutions tend to be pretty “me-focused”… you know, lose weight, make more money, quit this or that, improve whatever… but, why not turn that around?

Why not focus on someone else?

Yes, this is one thing I love about Christmas. On this day, when one third of the Earth’s population celebrates a 2000 year old gift that was given to the world… and another third celebrates the gift’s that they give to each other… why not carry the spirit of giving forward, and make a year of it?

Yes, why not spend some time in the next week identifying the needs of another individual… someone who has no means whatsoever to return the favor… and then resolve to make one of their dreams come true in 2010?

And then please write and tell me about it… I’d love to connect with you.

Merry Christmas.

Photo Credit:

Jurvetson